How to be Excellent at Giving Feedback
“All problems are interpersonal problems” is a surprising truth I’ve read recently. It seems particularly true at work when stakes are high, perspectives are different, and responsibilities are shared.
Since I’ve taken on the role of Product Strategy at Zaarly, my number of challenging internal conversations has skyrocketed. A huge part of the job is understanding and synthesizing feedback from internal and external stakeholders, trying to chart a path forward that respects all input. Or… giving and receiving feedback.
These can be frustrating conversations, where neither party really understands what the other is asking for. Here are my thoughts on how to give feedback, each expanded below:
Determine the Level of the conversation
Identify your feedback by Type and Severity
Formulas for Feedback
Determine the Level of the conversation
To give great feedback, get on the same level. One of you might start the conversation (or asynch session) by identifying the level at which the feedback should (or should not) take place:
Levels of feedback:
Conceptual - Evaluate the high-level ideas, trade-offs, draft the outline of the structure.
Structural - Understand concept premises. Move around blocks. Allow rough details.
Line - Improve content clarity and completeness, mostly within the structure as it exists.
Proofread - Ensure, to the smallest detail, that what is presented is correct.
Examples:
“This is a young idea, I’m really just refining the concept. Let’s talk through some options and see where we land.”
“I’m almost ready to publish this… can you help me on the Line-level ensure that the copy is complete, persuasive, and reads smoothly? Let’s get into details like word choices, segues, and removing redundancies.“
Clearly setting the level of feedback reduces the risk of critiques falling far outside what the recipient was expecting to hear. It’s (reasonably) frustrating if someone is nit-picking typos at the concept/structure stages, or giving critical concept-level feedback during the ‘proofreading’ stage.
Good feedback has a Type + Severity:
It can be difficult for a recipient to triage and prioritize incoming feedback, especially when there are a lot of ideas across multiple participants. When all input feels equal, it is very difficult to guide the conversation to the most important items and things will get missed.
Types of Feedback:
Case-building - I agree, and here’s where your case has a gap in showing its strength.
Assumption-clarifying - I think I agree, and let’s make sure we identify assumptions
Dissent - I disagree, so let’s find out why and work toward mutual understanding.
Emphasis - Agree, and I think this is even more important than stated for [reasons]
Addition - I hoped to see, expected, or thought of... [this] -- should we include it?
Severity of Feedback:
Showstoppers - [This] is a reason to not let this move forward.
Concerns - I think this could cause: [problem]. Have we considered [proposal]
Thoughts - I thought of [something], might be interesting.
Examples:
“A case-building concern here: This argument doesn’t include much data. I think the data is on our side, so let’s look at adding in [metric] and [metric] to strengthen this.”
“I only have one showstopper piece of dissent here -- I don’t think this can work without [...] and I didn’t see it mentioned anywhere in here.”
Formulas for Giving Feedback
A few tools to use as you communicate:
Propose, don’t oppose - Giving feedback that sounds like “No, because…” can halt progress and frustrate people. Try phrasing the same idea as “Yes, IF…” to highlight a challenge you’ve spotted while you propose a solution.
Show, don’t tell - Pictures help to disambiguate words and concepts. Start drawing (or writing or modeling) early to everyone is working from the same picture rather than their own mental version.
Ask, don’t accuse - Recipients respond better to questions than to accusations. “What were your reasons for eliminating [idea]?” lands much better than “You didn’t consider [idea].” (The former phrasing presumes the recipient did the work to eliminate the idea rather than expressing your assumption that they made an oversight.
Notice when you are surprised
Communication is hard. Sometimes you will say something, and your listener will interpret incredibly differently. If things don’t seem to be received well… ask “What did you just hear?” or “Why is that frustrating to hear?” -- This can help you understand each other better.
Adding ambiguity vs. Removing Ambiguity
At the structural, line, and proofread levels, good feedback removes ambiguity. This isn’t always possible -- asking questions, questioning assumptions, and making suggestions can all add ambiguity and be valuable contributions. When giving feedback, try also to remove ambiguity. If everyone adds ambiguity and no one takes it away, the project can never be completed. Find ways to contribute that add clarity.
Adding ambiguity: “What if you added [idea]?” or “Not sure why, this doesn’t sound right”
Removing ambiguity: “That is right, I agree with it because [experience].” or “That is wrong, I disagree because [data].”
Upcoming Post: How to Receive Feedback
As a companion to this post, I’m going to write something about receiving feedback (which is about 100x harder.) Receiving feedback is not my strength (yet), but I’m working on it.
I’d appreciate any resources or recommendations you have as I research this and think about how to practice it. Email, DM, or Tweet me: @EricJorgenson.